Diagnosis for the partner

“You’re toxic! You’re clearly a narcissist! Stop this gaslighting! You definitely have panic attacks!”

Have you already diagnosed your partner with a mental disorder?Maybe you’ve heard your own diagnosis too?

Today, in the era of the rapid rise of “pseudo-psychology,” we are all feel like psychotherapists. Simplified advice and memes on social media create the illusion that psychology is actually easy. And if you can casually drop psychological terms into a conversation, you appear convincing. These terms often become a cover for criticism that is hard to say directly to someone’s face.

But, as always, the truth is more banal. Very often these so-called “diagnoses” are a way to avoid difficult conversations about specific behaviors—our own or our partner’s. It’s easier to say “you’re toxic” than to describe what exactly hurts, and most often it’s something that hurts within ourselves. We also sometimes want to explain complex relationships that require effort with a simple label. Sounds familiar? And you know very well that this doesn’t work if we actually want to preserve the relationship.

So my conclusion is this: stop diagnosing your partner. Respect them. Try together to create a safe space where you can share your emotions, pain, and feelings. And leave diagnoses to professionals.

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